“How was your Thanksgiving?” That question got thrown around a lot in the office lately. After the long weekend, we all caught each other up on our getaways, covering riveting topics like visiting the in-laws, kids back from college, and winter driving conditions. This conversation escalated to another fun one: swapping stories of holidays gone awry.
We can do our best, but we’re only human. As our last post indicated, the holidays are such high pressure events, full of stress and expectations. We want to make things perfect; we want to make things “right,” but at what expense? Could the holidays be wonderful because we’ve created memories based on something gone wrong?
Here at People Bloom, we’re outing ourselves with a collection of stories of our own holidays gone wrong. We live to tell the tale, and we still managed to get our family and friends around us.
Without indicating who’s who, perhaps you can guess which story belonged to whom…
Muddy all over
There was the time I was responsible for bringing stuffing, rolls, and picking up cousin Lisa for my boyfriend Jay’s parent’s dinner. I got all the cooking done with plenty of time to spare and started to head out, but my car wouldn’t budge. At the time I was living in Portland’s west slope, a famously hilly and muddy part of town. The tires were spinning out and the more I revved the more they sank. Growing up in Idaho, I knew a thing or two about tires spinning out in snow…but mud?!
Long story short, I had to get my neighbors involved in pushing me out of the mud, interrupting their T-day dinner. I got mud splatter all up my white pants, and was nearly two hours late to dinner. This was before cell phones, or at least before everyone and their mother had one. I wasn’t able to call the hosts to tell them I’ll be late because Jay, who was already there, didn’t have a cell phone and I didn’t have his mother’s number. They kindly waited for me to start (and for the stuffing and rolls) and I felt awful that I postponed dinner for so long. They were one of those wholesome all American happy families that had their act together, so disappointing them felt extra mortifying.
. . .
Our dog was in the soup
It was over Thanksgiving when I was playing with the family dog. Frank was new to us, a German Shepherd we’ve gone back to the breeder to visit time and again before we finally brought him home. It was hard to keep my hands off of him when he was swirling around us in all of the festivities!
Between laying out the table settings and checking the ham in the oven, I gave Frank a really good tummy rub. Our bonding time was interrupted when mom called me over to debone the turkey for the broth. Dad has gotten most of the meat off and we wanted to start the broth for the next day. Without thinking twice, I used my fairy fingers to work my way through the carcass. It wasn’t until half way through did I realize I’d forgotten to wash my hands after playing with the dog all day!
My sister ratted me out and I got a good scolding. Yes, it was gross, but the good news is no one got sick that holiday. We’re still family, right?
. . .
Still got married
One year, I had to choose between my future wife and Thanksgiving dinner. I was supposed to attend my own wedding rehearsal, which was scheduled right before Thanksgiving dinner, but the two events were on opposite sides of town. I was living in LA as the time, and my best man and I headed out but realized there was no chance of making it to the rehearsal with LA traffic on the 405. This story predates the cell phone, so I wasn’t able to report my whereabouts to my fiancée. I ended up turning around and going to the Thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s house, opting to miss my own wedding rehearsal.
Imagine the stress that must have caused - the thoughts that must have ran through my fiancée's head - did he get cold feet and run off? Did he crash and was stuck in a ditch? Nope. Just LA traffic. Everyone met up later that night, so I was able to explain myself. I did get married the next day; it’s not like I blew that too. Karen told me I’m lucky to be married. It’s funny now, but it was definitely stressful at the time.
. . .
Know your countertops
As a couple, my partner and I would go to his Uncle Steven’s for Thanksgiving every year. There’d be all kinds of chips and dips, salads and five different dressings, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, oven roasted veggies, jello and of course turkey. Dad would bring dried persimmons, sourced from his tree and dried in his backyard while I’d supply chocolates of all kind from Seattle.
The “young people” try to be helpful in the kitchen and this particular year, we were handling something in and out of the oven. Corian, quartz, granite, they look about the same, right? Well, we don’t actually know when this happened or who was responsible but someone placed the hot oven tray directly on the corian countertop. As it turns out, Corian doesn’t take heat well and it left a huge crack! It cost Auntie Kathy $500 to fix and we didn’t hear about it until years later.
. . .
Who needs turkey, anyway?
Our family friend this Thanksgiving recounted the story of the year they dropped the turkey. They salvaged what they could, but it sure detracted from some of the illusion of holiday magic. The nice thing is, there are always so many other dishes to serve, people hardly miss it.
A few years back, just when we perfected our turkey recipe, we bought an expensive new barbecue grill. Naturally we had to try out “baking” the turkey in it! I stuffed it with my signature stuffing: bread cubes, raisins, sage, yellow onions, celery and butter. I followed the instructions but something went horribly, terribly wrong! I scorched the turkey and it was inedible.
Lesson learned: Always test out a new appliance, like a barbecue, before the holidays, ideally for a less consequential meal.
It’s gonna be okay
Yes, it’s disappointing when you work so hard to host your loved ones and it ends in disaster. But it sure makes memories for years to come! If America’s Funniest Home Videos taught us anything, it’s that these holiday flops happen all the time to families across the country. Something about the extra pressure to get something right almost guarantees that a mishap will happen. And it turns into comedy gold! Families often look back and laugh, because…wouldn’t you?
Will you be that family this holiday and create memories regardless of what happens? Happy holidays to you and yours from the tribe here at People Bloom!
Ada Pang is the proud owner of People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond psychotherapy practice in WA. She helps unhappy couples find safety and connection in their relationship. She also helps cancer thrivers and their caregivers integrate cancer into their life stories. Her favorite tradition is to give gifts whenever she sees fit and not to wait for the holidays.
Bob Russell is a therapist at People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond psychotherapy practice in WA. He helps teens and their familiesthrive through the adolescent years. He also helps twenty somethings figure out their place in life. He does all the meal planning and cooking in the home and likes his holidays low key with immediate family.
Karen Lenz is the Executive Assistant at People Bloom Counseling. She’s the office admin whiz - not a therapist. She writes blog posts as a human navigating this world, a client sitting across from a therapist, much like you. She is quite the cook and baker and her kitchen smells ah-mazing over the holidays!