Couples or Marriage Counseling
Hi! Ada here. I know it's hard being in an intimate relationship. My husband and I have to work at it. When we do the hard work of investing in our marriage, it is very rewarding; it pulls us closer together, rather than further apart. Because I know what it can be, I want to help you and your partner get to a place where you feel happy and connected to each other.
Do you struggle with these relationship problems?
- adjustment to moving in together
- difficulty setting boundaries with parents, in-laws or other relationships
- marriage dissatisfaction after a baby, or two
- conflict related to job changes, major moves, a medical diagnosis like cancer or other life stressors
- "I'm just not feelin' it!"
If that's you, I can help you move through these challenges.
Is it just a "communication problem"?
These issues are just the tip of the iceberg. I often tell my couples, "It's not about the Christmas lights" or whatever you might be arguing about. Change up the content and you'll be fighting the same way. It's also NOT just a "communication problem". You can learn all the ways to better communicate, but when the emotions are high, everything goes out the window.
Here's the deeper issue
Do you feel lonely, hurt and invisible in your marriage? Or is it more like overwhelmed, criticized and "not good enough"? Are you constantly arguing or fighting with your partner about the same old, same old, living more like roommates or co-parents rather than lovers? What if hiring a sitter, going on nice vacations, or staying busy with chores and work haven’t helped the situation?
How is this for a different relationship?
You feel close to your partner whether you're together or apart, at home or away. You're more open about your deeper needs and wants because you feel valued and connected to each other. You're more confident going about the world because you know your partner has your back. This level of intimacy is possible.
Let me help you find your way to each other again.
Here's how we get there: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) has been well researched to show a 75% success rate in healing relationships, compared to 35% in other forms of couples therapy. 86% of couples report feeling happier in their relationships, and the results last well beyond the end of treatment.
Over the course of treatment, I'll ask you to notice your relational pattern that leaves you both feeling very alone in the relationship. You'll learn to talk about the deeper emotions that are driving your reactions to fight, be defensive, or shut down, and to practice asking for what you need from the other. Even when you do get into a fight, you'll learn how to turn back and reconnect with less damage. When you feel a safe and supportive bond between you and your partner, you can savor the really good times and weather the storms of life.
Possible outcomes with couples counseling
Some of my couples have reported less muscle tension, improved sleep and greater ability to problem solve together. They have also reported less fighting, and when fighting, their fights are less intense and they come back together quicker.
What about you?
I want to help you feel closer, more connected and secure in your relationship. I want to help you reach for your partner and find them there, reaching back.
Amidst your busy lives, can you spare an hour a week?
Would it be worth it to invest in a lifetime of love?