So I don’t actually know when your Cancerversary is. I only know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. However, I’m guessing you’ve identified your Cancerversary, perhaps without knowing it. Do you remember the day, or even the moment you were diagnosed with cancer? The difficult conversation you had with your family? Your first core needle biopsy procedure? You surgery? Your introduction to the radiation machine? Your last day of chemo?
If you can lock down that date, that memory, then you have a Cancerversary.
A Cancerversary is a significant day along your cancer journey. No doubt, cancer is a difficult ordeal; I can imagine there being multiple dates that define your cancer experience and not just one. Ultimately, a Cancerversary is what you make of it. While you didn’t choose cancer, you can choose what to do with these milestones.
Though I do have a bias...
I have a friend in his 40’s who celebrates his birthday by the months. Not kidding you. At 44, he was 528 months old, and so forth. Sometimes, we don’t even need to wait until the year mark to hear how many months old he is. After all, if babies go by months, why did we stop? Perhaps it’s because we’re not very good at math.
Sure, anniversaries are often joyous occasions. They are also moments where we remember loved ones who have gone before us. While the initial diagnosis of cancer reminds us of death, the fact that you’re reading this means you’re alive.
No right or wrong way to celebrate
Ask ten women how they’d like to celebrate their Cancerversaries and you’ll get at least 11 answers. Some treat it like any other day. Some set up a special date with their partner. Others attend a cancer support group. Still others make a trip out of it with their gal friends.
It might involve a journal. Being outside. Some art piece. The color pink. Being inside. Special treats. Your favorite movie. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. It’s your day.
If you’re alive today, could today be worth something? After all, it has been 39 months and 14 days since your hair started falling off. Or 76 months and 3 days since treatment ended. Whatever your numbers are, today is about you breathing and living your new normal. Today can be a full day. What would you want it to be about?
If you’re having trouble living fully in face of cancer, it doesn’t have to be that way! You don’t have to be triggered by your Cancerversary or struggle to live meaningfully other days of the year. Let me know how I can help!
Ada Pang is the proud owner of People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond psychotherapy practice in WA. She helps unhappy couples find safety and connection in their relationship. She also helps cancer thrivers and their caregivers integrate cancer into their life stories. Now 22 months and 15 days since her cancer diagnosis, she celebrates each day. More recently, she has been delighting in the changing colors of the fall season. Her favorite leaf color is orange.