Commonly Asked Questions about Marriage or Couples Counseling

We’re couples counselors here at People Bloom. We hope this Q&A prepares you for our meeting. 

Why do you work with couples?

We love working with couples because we experience the following needs in our own relationships: 1) We want to feel close to our partners, whether we’re physically together or apart; 2) because our partners matter to us, we need assurance from them especially when we’re upset; 3) we feel unsettled when we’re emotionally disconnected; and 4) we’re more confident going about in the world when we know our partners have our backs. We understand these to be fundamental needs that couples have to feel secure in their relationship.

If you desire those qualities in your relationship, we want to help. 

What can we expect from couples therapy?

Sessions are generally 55-min long but we can negotiate for a longer time if our schedules allow. The 1st session is an assessment where we gather background information from you and your partner. The 2nd and 3rd sessions we usually meet with partners individually to understand your relationship histories. Starting the 4th session, we bring couples back together again to track your interaction patterns. There may be times we might request to meet individually with one or both of you again if issues come up that impact your ability to feel safe and vulnerable in the relationship. For more information, here’s a detailed roadmap for treatment.

How long do we have to be in marriage counseling?

You don't have to do anything! But if you want to make your relationship better, we'd suggest a commitment to at least six months of weekly sessions. In cases where your conflicts are long-standing and your wounds are deep, healing may take longer. The thing is, your current patterns of relating were there before you even met your partner. What is six months, a year or even two years in the context of your life together?

Will you see me individually and also see me and my partner as a couple?

Once we start seeing you for individual counseling, we’re partial to your perspective, which makes us a biased 3rd person looking into your couple relationship. For that reason, we cannot go on to work with both you and your partner but will need to refer you to another colleague for couples counseling.

What if my partner stops coming in? Can I continue to see you individually?

If for whatever reason, couples counseling is terminated and one of you wants to continue individual counseling with us, we can see you individually, provided that both partners are aware of this arrangement. If in the future, both partners want to resume couples counseling, we’ll need to refer you to a different couples therapist for reasons mentioned above. In some cases, we might determine it’s in your best interest to do individual work with a different provider all together.

We can’t find childcare. Can we bring our child into our couple sessions?

It has been done before, but we really don’t recommend it. The type of therapy we do invites all of us to be tuned into what’s happening in the room. A cute child will likely be a distraction. It might also be difficult to open up about certain things when your child is listening.

Does insurance cover couples counseling?

Most insurance plans do not cover couples counseling. However, it’s best that you contact your insurance company directly to learn about your mental health/behavioral health benefits. You can ask specifically about “couples counseling” billed using Z Code “Z63.0 Problems in Relationship with Spouse or Partner”.

Your provider is in network with our insurance, can you directly bill “conjoint therapy” for our couples sessions?

Insurance covers only services that are considered “medically necessary”. Insurance typically covers conjoint therapy, when one or both partners are diagnosed with a mental health disorder. In this case, treatment is provided with the support person in the room with the goal to help alleviate symptoms of the client with the mental health diagnosis.

At People Bloom Counseling, we see your love relationship as our client, in which both partners contribute to and are impacted by the issues that are bringing them to therapy. The focus of counseling then is on your relationship and not on the treatment of a medical diagnosis. The chart is under both of your names, as your relationship is our client. We do not provide Superbills for couples counseling for this reason. We’d be happy to give you a receipt for the services rendered and you’re welcome to your HSA card for payment.

What if one of us flies in from out-of-town or travels a lot?

In cases where it’s difficult for one or both partners to make it to weekly sessions, we offer a more intense option of treatment sometimes known as “marathon therapy”. This is usually TWO back-to-back 75-min sessions with a 30-min break in between. For partners located in a state outside of WA, we’d need to check with the Department of Health in that state to make sure we can provide care.

It sounds like we meet for weekly sessions. Can we meet less often than that?

Especially in the 1st stage of treatment, it is important we meet weekly so we get a chance to know you, your histories, and how you relate. When we’ve had irregular sessions with our client couples, we spend part of the time recapping what happened since our last session we end up losing the momentum we’ve gained. Put simply, we get more done in six months of weekly couples therapy than we do one year of biweekly counseling. 

YOU’RE ALL THE WAY IN REDMOND. SHOULDN’T we FIND SOMEONE CLOSER?

Traffic is a bear around here, especially if you’re coming from Seattle! We discourage carbon emission, but we do know that it's important to find a counselor that both you and your partner are comfortable with. Provided that both of you are in the same car, one of the benefits of a longer commute is that it affords you time to work on your relationship before and after our sessions. If we’re not your person after a few sessions, no offense, we’ll be happy to refer you to colleagues who might be a better fit.

Do you offer online couples counseling?

We used to insist on meeting in-person so we can make an emotional connection, but now we see that it’s possible to make that connection via video conferencing. When we can’t catch all the nuances of body language behind a screen, we learn to be more explicit about what we’re asking for in our couples. We still feel what you feel and we go to those difficult places with you. We’d love the opportunity to meet with you online.

Ready to take the next step in your relationship?