self acceptance

You Are Not Your Diagnosis

Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

In my many years of practicing therapy, I have had some clients who feel that what they consider to be their traits, temperament, and preferences - i.e. their personality - is reduced to a diagnosis. Perhaps you identify with and have nurtured these qualities over time, and you take pride in that. Your way of being has helped you navigate the world and has gotten you where you are today. Thus, in addressing these qualities in therapy, you might be concerned that the work we do could radically change you as a person or invalidate your life experiences.

Here’s my short answer: You are not your diagnosis, or even the symptoms of your diagnosis.

My initial meeting with you helps me understand where you’ve been and what you’re struggling with. While a diagnosis is necessary for billing insurance and can be helpful to guide treatment, I see the qualities that you bring into sessions as a condition, and sometimes, as a timestamp of where you’re at, rather than a disorder. There is nothing wrong with you. Some things are just not working as well as you’d like, and you can use some help figuring it all out.

Here’s an analogy:  I once knew a young man who was well over six feet tall. He liked being tall, but he had had a problem hitting his head on low overhanging things like street signs and door frames. Not that I saw him in the office about being tall -- I saw him for something entirely different. He doesn't necessarily have to change being the way he is, as much as hopefully growing to be someone who is more versatile, like learning to duck at times.

My point is: Therapy is often about adjusting to situations, as a practical matter. You don’t have to stop being you; but we can help you do you with more flexibility.

Let me know if I can help!


People Bloom Counseling Bob Russell Teens Working Professionals Redmond I.png

Bob Russell is a therapist at People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond psychotherapy practice in WA. He helps teens and their families thrive through the adolescent years. He also helps twenty somethings figure out their place in life. In his 40+ years working in mental health, he’s developed a knack for helping people peel the layers of the onion that make up their identity. Bob can be found at PeopleBloomCounseling.com.

Self-Acceptance

Paolese/stock.adobe.com

Paolese/stock.adobe.com

So I grew up reading Japanese manga and I could really identify with a character in Ranma ½. He's the pig who gets lost all the time. That's me. Unless I've been down that route again and again, the GPS is my friend. And even then, I'll make the wrong turn.

Now, is this not an area I can grow in, to stretch myself some, to explore places still? Absolutely! But will I ever be like my husband, who helped his cousin move into his college dorm when he was 10, and then decades later, said, “Oh, I remember this was where my cousin lived...” Are you kidding me?!!

Spatial ability is not my strong suit and coming to terms with it is still a process. Need help embracing who you're wired to be? Glad I'm not alone.