The Guest House

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This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- Rumi
 

Coming Through

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Sometimes, it Takes a While

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Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out. 

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out. 

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately. 

 Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it. 

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson 

Reining in my Runaway Thoughts

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What do I do with the 60,000 thoughts I have in a day?

Thoughts are poppin' up faster than I have time to type them. What am I having for lunch? Am I hungry? What's going on tomorrow? Where would I squeeze that in? What's the weather like outside? The job of the mind is the generate thoughts and I have A LOT of them! If I follow these string of words everywhere they lead me, I'd be all over the place!

As a psychotherapist with a developing mindfulness practice, I am continuously wrestling with the need to come back to the here and now, because my mind is everywhere but here.

Here are some habits I've picked up along the way to help bring me back to now... I'd touch and sniff most flowers that happen upon my path, or listen in on the crinkling sound of a leaf against my shoe. I'd be curious about the aroma of yummy goodness coming out of a Thai restaurant. I'd come back to noticing my breath, which I thankfully carry around unconsciously, all the time. I'd take a moment to observe what's happening outside of me and how that's affecting what's happening inside of me, and vice versa. All the while, I'd take note of my mind drifting off and invite my mind to come back to this moment that I don't want to miss. 

How do you come back to the present? I'd love to hear!

Sometimes, it's about Waiting it Out

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Keep Going

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Self-Acceptance

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So I grew up reading Japanese manga and I could really identify with a character in Ranma ½. He's the pig who gets lost all the time. That's me. Unless I've been down that route again and again, the GPS is my friend. And even then, I'll make the wrong turn.

Now, is this not an area I can grow in, to stretch myself some, to explore places still? Absolutely! But will I ever be like my husband, who helped his cousin move into his college dorm when he was 10, and then decades later, said, “Oh, I remember this was where my cousin lived...” Are you kidding me?!!

Spatial ability is not my strong suit and coming to terms with it is still a process. Need help embracing who you're wired to be? Glad I'm not alone.

Disconnecting Some

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Last month, I deleted my email accounts from my phone. I figured I have a computer I'd be lugging around for work and can get access there rather than looking down on a small screen. Somehow when information come in filling up tight spaces, it feels more urgent even when they're not. I also get notified about things I can do little about until I get home, or can coordinate schedules, so why not wait? And, what about all the nice drives across the waters and through the arboretum I'd miss with my head down (as a passenger)?

Now, I still look up places to eat or check traffic and whatever else, but it's been nice containing the information I receive. My neck is also thanking me.

What steps have you taken to disconnect?

I'm (Not) Okay

Rob/stock.adobe.com

I remember being at a friend's house watching last year's Super Bowl. We were of course rooting for the Hawks and it was a disappointment when they lost. Granted, I don't understand all the rules about football and I'm one of the least likely fans. So in light of that, I was quick to dismiss that I felt sad or disappointed. I remember saying to myself, It's only football (don't hurt me).

The rest of the evening went by and I was going about my business when I found myself staying up past my bedtime watching replays of the game. What the heck?! If this truly didn't matter to me then why am I doing this? I finally admitted to myself that it did matter and I wasn't okay with our loss. How I was feeling at the time was valid and I didn't have to dismiss them. I can experience them and move on from them.

Are you quick to push your feelings aside? They tend to re-surface and guide our behaviors. I'm here if you need help! 

Slow (the Heck) Down

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I don't know about you but there's a lot going through my mind at any given moment. While I'm cooking, I'm replaying the day. While I'm driving, I'm writing that email. I then don't remember whether I've measured an ingredient correctly or how I got to the office. I would miss out on these moments which may seem trivial, but are not, because how else have I allowed life pass me by?

I often have to remind myself to slow the heck down and to re-train my brain to come back to the here and now. What's going on inside and outside of me this very moment? Usually, when I've taken the time to be more present, I find myself living fuller days.

Want to journey in the present moment?