I love my friends and family. But I sometimes neglect to show it. It’s not enough to feel it. People need to receive help and support from others - now more than ever. Isolation and loneliness is common in modern life, but during a pandemic it’s rampant. Just checking in on someone and reminding them that you care can lift their spirit out of a depression spiral.

I have to admit I haven’t been in a very giving mood lately. I’ve been so caught up in my own worries and the state of the world, thinking of others’ needs has felt draining. But the season of love has reminded me of all the rituals we used to do to show love for each other, and it’s important to continue to extend love and care. Valentine's day isn’t just for couples! Single folks and coupled ones alike can find fun ways to share the love.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve felt that giving presents can be more fun than receiving. Receiving a gift can feel awkward - I sometimes feel like I’m being put on the spot. But coming up with personalized gifts for loved ones can make you feel warm all over.

Here are 5 easy ways to show you care - even when it doesn’t come naturally

1. Do something to help a neighbor: shovel their walkway, offer to go on a grocery run. If you’re not sure what will help, ask what they need to feel supported.

2. Send a postcard to a loved one letting them know you’re thinking of them - from whatever city you’re at. You’re stuck wherever you are - but most everyone else is too! When no one is traveling anyway, tell your friends something about your home base they don’t know and share what you’re doing to pass the time at home.

3. Get crafty. Make something for your friends or partner even if it feels silly. If you’re not feeling very artsy or inspired, use a kit like a terrarium making kit, a photo album app, or those Paint by Numbers posters. If you spent time on it, it doesn’t have to come from within for you to put love into it and give you a sense of accomplishment. The act of art is also therapeutic - so do it even if for yourself.

4. Bake some treats for your pals and drop off care packages around town.

5. Surprise a friend with delivery - many local companies have converted to delivery rather than in-person in the pandemic. If you can afford to splurge on this, support them and keep them in business.

I get it - with many of us feeling serious compassion fatigue, doing things for others can feel impossible. If that’s the case, ask yourself what you need and see if you can give it to yourself. Do any or all of these things for yourself. Bake yourself your favorite treat, buy yourself small things that bring you joy, write yourself a note about how you’re doing. These small gestures might just revive you enough to help you reach out to others as well, down the road.

I hope you had a good Valentine’s day this year, even if it didn’t look like it usually does.

Karen Lenz People Bloom Counseling Redmond Executive Assistant.png

Karen Lenz is the Office Whiz and Insurance Guru at People Bloom Counseling. She writes blog posts as a human navigating this world, a client sitting across from a therapist, much like you. She doesn’t celebrate Valentines Day officially, but she tries to at least make it a nice, conflict-free, easy day. This year she checked in on her loved ones, baked some treats, and played silly online word games with her family.