What's Really Going on When You're Emotionally Triggered

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It doesn’t take much to be triggered

We’re still in the middle of a global pandemic and it doesn’t take a lot to get triggered. People are not following social distancing rules. You and your partner can’t agree on how much precaution you need to take. Your parents don’t understand the severity of the situation. On top of all that, there are the stories of George Floyd, Christian Cooper, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor. And the list goes on. 

The thing is, it’s not a matter of if you get emotionally triggered but when. When you’re triggered, it helps to slow down for a moment and notice the following*: 

1. What is your trigger? What are you reacting to? What is making you feel uneasy, riled up or vulnerable? We do not all get triggered the same way by the same things. Identify your trigger.

2. What is your body telling you? It takes a fraction of a second for an alarm bell to show up in our bodies. Where are you feeling the sensation in your body? Some people talk about their muscles tensing up, their stomach fluttering, their chest feeling heavy. Your body is trying to tell you something is off. Listen to it.

3. What do you tell yourself? What often follows is an internal monologue. “Do people know how important it is to wear masks?” “Why is my mom going out again like it’s business as usual?” “Black. People. Dead. Not. Again.” Whatever you tell yourself, notice it. 

4. What are you feeling? See if you can trace an emotion to what just happened. What are you feeling? Frustration. Annoyance. Anger. Indignant. Whatever is showing up, they’re valid emotions.

5. What else are you feeling? Feelings are like layers of an onion. On the surface, you might be feeling some emotions initially. If we were to really dig deep, we often find that there are deeper emotions like sadness, hurt, fear and pain.

6. What do you want to do? Like a knee jerk reaction, you might want to yell, to lecture your mom, to seek justice. Whatever you might want to do, know that there’s a difference between wanting to do something and actually doing it. 

7. What do you really need? Is there a resolution you’re seeking?
   “I want people to know that as a nurse, we almost lost a dear colleague and we’ve lost too many patients to COVID. The grief is too great. I don’t want to see you in urgent care. Please follow CDC guidelines.”
   “Mom, I get scared when you are out and about and not maintaining social                distancing because I don’t want to lose you.” 
   “Black. Lives. Matter. We don’t get to stop spreading this message, not even for a health pandemic. We’re tired of losing our men and women. We’re sad and we’re afraid. We need you to know that we matter, not in spite of our skin color but simply because we do. We. Matter. We are an important part of society.

Slowing down and taking notice

Often, we go from trigger to action in a matter of seconds without really slowing down and noticing what’s going on for us. When you do take stock of your trigger, your body’s response, your narrative, your feelings, your action tendencies and your needs, you might find that there are various ways to deal with an external situation that that you initially may have felt you have no control over.  Even if you were to notice just some of these elements, that’s still more helpful than none at all. 

This is an exercise that needs to be experienced, rather than intellectualized. Whether it’s a systemic problem in the world or an issue in your relationship or in your individual life, how you respond to triggers is important. If you’re feeling stuck and you need help figuring out your responses, our counselors are here to help. 

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With a heavy, heavy heart,
Ada

*Ideas borrowed from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples and individuals.

Tips for Coping with the Effects of a Global Trauma

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While stuck at home, you’re feeling things you may have never felt before. This isn’t a typical global crisis. So much of this pandemic involves isolation, waiting, unknowns, and not much action, unless you’re on the frontlines. But the effects on the population as a whole are felt, nonetheless.

During a global crisis...

• You may feel fatigued, confused, angry, restless, sad, helpless, distracted and/or super alert.

• You may feel trapped, like life is on hold.

• You may feel safe at home.

• You may feel bad about feeling safe at home.

You may skip between these feelings constantly. You may not know how to behave or what you ought to do when you’ve been given so many mixed messages.

Even when you allow yourself to have a good laugh about all that’s going on, when you pull away from this YouTube video or that TV show, the reality is still there. 

Your routine has been disrupted, at the very least. If you’re on the frontlines, you cannot unsee what you have seen.

It’s ok if...

• You aren’t getting as much done

• You aren’t eating super healthy

• You’re not eating enough

• You’re overeating

• You don’t always show patience with your partner or children

• You’re sleeping too much

• You’re not sleeping enough

Please extend grace to yourself. This is especially important when your best doesn’t feel like your best. 

“Normal” reactions to trauma 

All of your reactions are normal. In this context, “normal” just means common; we universally and instinctually share these reactions and traits. Your reactions are human, understandable and to be expected.

“Normal” will look slightly different for each of us, but there are some recognizable universal ways that we all react to dangerous situations.

Common trauma responses, one of which is less well known

When faced with danger, whether real or perceived, humans instinctively respond in the following four ways. While they’re not neatly categorized, see if you can spot yourself in one or more of these reactions:

• Fight –  In fight mode, you may show aggression about the state of the world as a whole, but this also manifests as angry outbursts taken out on those around you for seemingly unrelated reasons.

• Flight – In flight mode, you feel like running away from the danger, but this can also show up as forms of escape: becoming hyper-focused on work, or diving into projects and tasks that distract you from all the negative events in the world.

• Freeze – When you don’t know whether to fight or flee, your brain can resort to another option: shut down and freeze. In temporarily tightening up your muscles and paralyzing yourself, you hope to be away from danger. Your brain is subconsciously playing the game of “If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.” 

• Fawn or faint – The fourth and least talked about reaction to danger is to fawn/faint. When you fawn/faint, you have no energy to fight, flight or even freeze. You feel so helpless about the situation you become co-dependent or people-please. Sometimes, this can show up as frontline workers taking on extra shifts or working beyond their limits.

Normal reactions may be common survival instincts, but they aren’t always helpful for your well being. While your reactions make sense, they can lead to anxiety, depression, sleep deprivation and worsened mental health.

It can be distressing when there is so much we have little control over and so much we don’t know. So what can we do to feel better when the world feels out of control?

Focus on what you do have control over and take it day-by-day

1. Pay attention to what your body needs. In times of stress, it’s incredibly easy to lose track of your needs to the point where you don’t notice you are hungry, thirsty, need to pee or are tired as heck. Cortisol stress levels are high, and your body needs extra care to stay in balance.

Check in with your body. Take a break, eat well, and rest when you’re tired. Do everything you need for self-care, and then some. Do everything you need for self-care, and then some.

2. Make a schedule and keep a routine. If your typical schedule has been disrupted, create a new routine around specific activities for you and your family. Pick up new activities and/or hold onto the ones you know well. Having a routine creates a sense of security, comfort and normalcy, even if the “new normal” is not what it used to be.

3. Unplug. No really, unplug. Wellness blogs have been advising us to take a break from tech since the internet was born. It’s advice we take or leave under normal circumstances, as is convenient for us. But now more than ever, it’s crucial to take a break from the (bad/confusing/alarming) news and noise. Set timers for yourself for how long you scroll or tune in. Turn instead to the tangible activities you can do at home or in nature. You might find that some of the weight of the world is temporarily lifted off your shoulders. 

The news cycle and the tweets will be there when you’re in the headspace  to return. Frankly, you won’t be missing much.

4. Practice gratitude. It’s so easy to fixate on the decaying state of the world, and to let that be the main focus of your thoughts and conversations. Make a special effort to pay attention to what IS working. Notice what’s going well, even in the small bubble of your life. There’s a big world out there, and everything about it could make us worry if we let it. Are your people healthy for now? Check. Did the sun come out? Sweet, that’s a win. Did your kids do their online homework last night? Miraculous! Did your banana bread come out perfect this time? You’re a master chef and a genius. Little things can become huge when we invite them in.

5. Help where you can. Are you in a special position to donate your time or resources? While frontline workers and tired parents understandably are excused from these activities, some people are in a unique position to give back. Many of those folks are itching to help any way they can. You can donate to local arts or buy restaurant gift cards for local hospital workers. If you are crafty, sew face masks to distribute to friends and neighbors. It’s a sense of doing something, anything to make a positive impact. 

If you haven’t been doing some of these things until now, that’s okay - what you do today matters. If you start taking small steps, you’re doing a better job of taking charge today than the day before. 

And, if you help with these things, we’re here for you. 

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Karen Lenz is the Office Whiz and Insurance Guru at People Bloom Counseling. She writes blog posts as a human navigating this world, a client sitting across from a therapist, much like you. She’s a homebody, so being stuck at home means more time for cooking, playing with the dog, and finally getting to work on house projects that she’s been putting off.

There is Hope – Trauma Therapies that Re-wire the Human Brain

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The word “trauma” on Google

When I google searched “trauma” the first definition that came up was “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience”. The word “trauma” is synonymous with “shock, upheaval, stress, pain, anguish, suffering, agony, misery” and the list goes on. The word has a Greek origin which literally means “wound”. When I pause to reflect on what these words actually mean, my heart becomes heavy.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder re-triggered

I must say that while I’ve processed the trauma of my aunt’s death, watching an episode of Sherlock Holmes this past weekend was enough to trigger memories of her. I didn’t expect it; it just happened. Then I think about the many people who have been through a traumatic event and have not learned to process it and integrate it as a part of their life story. After all, it doesn’t take much to be triggered with the never ending information on social media, and to hide from triggers is to hide from life itself. If that’s your experience, I grieve with you. But, let’s not stay there.

A recap on CBT modalities for treating trauma

Last month, I wrote about Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT) for the treatment of PTSD. CBT is about changing the way you think and feel about a traumatic experience. There is often an exposure component where you recall what happened in the safety of the therapist’s office and you learn to put the trauma behind you. Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) and Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE) were amongst the treatments covered.

Trauma therapies that re-wire the brain

Today, I’m excited to call upon additional experts in the Seattle area to talk about other forms of PTSD treatment. They eloquently speak to modalities that use brain activation and body-mind integration to re-wire the brain and change the relationship you have with the traumatic event.

Without further ado, I give you Lorencita Villegas and Laura Moon Williams!

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Lorencita Villegas, LMHC, NCC is a certified EMDR psychotherapist. She writes, “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapy modality that helps process traumatic or disturbing life experiences or memories. It follows an eight-phase protocol where I’d ask you to recall the memory and the negative thoughts associated with it, as well as the positive thoughts you’d rather have about yourself. The goal is to replace the negative cognitions with the positive, and allow the trauma to move.

Trauma moves by allowing the brain to create new pathways that are more adaptive. To allow movement we will use eye movements (or other bilateral stimulation) to activate your brain. EMDR allows you to access your intellectual and emotional processes on your own, unlike talk therapy where the clinician would help interpret them.

It is important to note that EMDR will not change the memory of the particular event, but will change the thoughts and physical reactions associated with it. For example, a person who experienced a car accident may go from experiencing high levels of stress to having a more adaptive thought such as, “I can control my driving.” EMDR has been recognized by the World Health Organization and the Veterans Affair as a leading treatment for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.“

Lifespan Integration Therapy (LI)

Laura Moon Williams, MA, LMHCA is a Lifespan Integration (LI) therapist. This is how she explains LI, “Those who have had a traumatic experience(s) often feel stuck reliving the event through intrusive memories, flashbacks, dreams or physical and emotional responses to reminders/triggers of the traumatic event. These PTSD symptoms occur because the person doesn’t fully and truly know that the traumatic event is over; the body-mind system is stuck in the experience and continues to respond to its current environment as if the event had just happened.

Lifespan Integration provides a safe, therapeutic way of re-experiencing the event and demonstrating that it is over, without re-traumatizing. This is done by viewing multiple timelines, beginning with the event and continuing with everyday memories that bring you into the present moment. Seeing what happened in the days, weeks, months, or years following the event proves to the body that the event is over and allows the traumatic experience to be integrated into one’s larger story. People are often surprised by how quickly they experience relief from PTSD symptoms with Lifespan Integration.“

There is hope for you

If you struggle with symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, you don’t have to go about it alone. PTSD affects you when you’re waking or sleeping, when you’re alone or in the company of others, when you’re at work or at play. It doesn’t have to be this way! Lorencita and Laura are here to help you put trauma in its place. Reach out to them! Lorencita is here and Laura is here.

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Ada Pang, MS, LMFT is the proud owner of People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond psychotherapy practice in WA. She helps distressed couples and breast cancer patients. She understands that she cannot be known for too many things, but yes, she also loves helping amazing but struggling people recover from trauma using CBT approaches. When she’s not seeing clients, she’s about working on her business and building relationships within the therapist community. 

There is Hope – Cognitive Behavioral Therapies for Treating Trauma

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Trauma is prevalent in our society. Turn on the TV or go on any social media and there’s no shortage of natural disasters, accidents and injuries, abuse, threats of violence, violence itself, and sudden deaths. Sadly, this does not include traumatic events that have happened to you or to those you know. In my previous post, I gave an overview on trauma. In this post and next, I’ll be covering treatments for trauma.

Evidence-based treatments for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

In the field of psychotherapy, “evidence-based treatments” are treatment modalities that have been proven by scientific research to be effective for treating a particular set of symptoms. In the case of PTSD, a subset of Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT) have shown to significantly decrease PTSD symptoms and related conditions, and these benefits are sustained well after treatment is over. I’ll be writing about two types of CBT approaches that I practice at my Redmond office. I’ll also be calling on trauma experts in the larger Seattle community to comment on other approaches that they specialize in.

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) is designed to help children, adolescents and their families recover from trauma and related symptoms. Over the course of 12-16 sessions, children and their caregivers will learn about the particular trauma the child has experienced, common trauma symptoms, as well as the roadmap for treatment. Caregivers will also get support around parenting and learn ways to manage the child’s emotional and behavioral difficulties related to the trauma. Children will develop and practice relaxation techniques, ways to regulate their emotions, and skills to begin thinking about their trauma differently. They will also be asked to tell/write about their trauma experience in a safe environment, share it with a special person and learn ways to safely navigate the world going forward. At the end of treatment, many kids feel really empowered and their caregivers proud! And, the tools gained from treatment can be easily adapted to cope with other life stressors.

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)

First developed for use with veterans who have experienced PTSD symptoms, Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) has been shown effective in treating other types of trauma. As in traditional CBT, CPT sees a strong connection between your thoughts, feelings, actions, and body sensations. And, to the extent that you have some unhelpful ways of seeing the world before and/or after the traumatic event, those beliefs will keep you “stuck in non-recovery”. When you’re “stuck,” you tend to be hard on yourself and others, mistrustful of the world, and feel numbed out and angry. The ultimate goals of CPT are to help you: 1) accept the reality that the traumatic event happened, 2) fully experience the emotions about the event in a safe environment, and 3) develop more balanced, realistic views about the event, yourself, and others. Clients who have completed 12-20 sessions of CPT have shown a decrease in PTSD and trauma-related symptoms such as depression, anxiety, shame or guilt. They have also reported feeling more present in their everyday life.

Now, calling my first expert! *Drumroll*

Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE)

For years, Caitlin Vincent, MS, LMFT, CDP provided therapy at the King County Sexual Assault Resource Center. She writes, “I find people struggle most with the re-experiencing symptoms of PTSD (flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive memories and strong physical and emotional reactions when reminded of their experience). They often say that they feel haunted and raw, like the event just happened, even if it didn't. Prolonged Exposure (PE) is a form of therapy that is especially helpful for alleviating these symptoms of PTSD by safely revisiting painful memories in detail, from start to finish, in a process called Imaginal Exposure. Just as a once-scary movie becomes less shocking if you watch it several times, this process can allow someone to regain more control over their minds and bodies. By facing these memories thoroughly and directly, and then talking about the thoughts and feelings that arise, people can start to put the experience behind them, because finally allowing the brain to process the memory relieves its instinct to replay details over and over. PE is best for someone who has a clear and identifiable 'worst' traumatic incident that they can refer to and focus on, but can easily also be used for multiple traumas.”

There is hope for you

If you suffer from trauma symptoms and these CBT approaches to treatment resonate with you, there is hope. Yes, it is scary. Caitlin and I hear you. We’ve been there with countless clients and have walked them through this painful and frightening journey into hope and recovery. We'd want to do the same for you. Let us know how we can help. I’m here and Caitlin is here.

Up ahead

Stay tune for other evidence-based approaches to treating trauma that I cannot even begin to describe! I’ll leave it to the experts.

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Ada Pang, MS, LMFT is the proud owner of People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond psychotherapy practice in WA. She helps distressed couples and breast cancer patients. She understands that she cannot be known for too many things, but yes, she loves helping amazing but struggling people recover from trauma as well. When she’s not working or thinking about work, she’s eating or thinking about food. 

An Overview on Trauma

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My trauma story

In June of 2014, my maternal aunt passed away. It was very sudden and traumatic. I still remember the call I got from mom and her words, verbatim, though spoken in Cantonese, “Ning has passed away.” It seemed very surreal, and I still remember I was in the kitchen, holding my phone, in shock.

What followed was an hour phone call with mom as she told the story and we wept together. Actually, I wasn't sure if it has been an hour because time took on a different dimension. My husband didn't know what to do. Though mom and I spoke in Cantonese, he was able to make out the content of what we were talking about. He just sat next to me and held me as I held the phone, and my mom.

My body's response to trauma

As mentioned in an earlier post, my body tends to hold stress and tension. In the days following, my body locked up and I felt very tensed. I went for my one and only massage with a gift certificate I have received years ago. It provided temporary relief. I went through waves of normal work and home life, followed by strong emotions and uncontrollable sobbing when a co-worker asked me how I was doing.

I stayed up in the middle of the night, recounting what happened, hearing my mom's voice, remembering the last encounter with my aunt. I was more sensitive to others' stories about the death of their loved ones, however they might have passed. I had a strong desire for people to stay alive. Above it all, I was angry that the sun was still shining, that life kept going for the rest of the world.

I know I needed to let go of this pain, this hurt and I finally went on a very long bike ride on my day off. I wasn't in bike-shape, but that didn't matter. It was also one of the hotter days in Seattle; 88-degrees outside. While I filled up on water at every juncture, I was still low at the end of the day. However, nothing compared to the flying feeling I experienced while on petals. It was as if the breeze took with it my burden, my tension, and leaving with me memories of my aunt. That was just the beginning of my healing process.

Trauma definition

The truth is, one in two people will experience trauma in their lifetime. That's 50%. And with the never-ending breaking news, I can only imagine that statistic going up.

Trauma is an emotional response to stressful and dangerous events that happened to you or other people. Examples of traumatic events include:

• living through natural disasters
• experiencing serious accident or injury
• being a victim of crime, violence or abuse
• witnessing someone else as a victim of crime, violence or abuse
• going through a scary medical procedure
• someone close to you dying suddenly

Trauma symptoms

Trauma symptoms are best described in four clusters:

1. Re-experiencing: as you go about your day, you might experience intrusive thoughts about what happened. These thoughts take you back to the event as if you're re-living it. At night, you might dream about what happened. Sometimes you can pinpoint what triggered these memories; other times they come out of no where. You're likely to experience these symptoms at night, and when you're relax and less occupied.

2. Arousal: memories of the trauma often bring strong emotions and physical sensations. Examples of arousal symptoms include trouble falling or staying asleep, anger and irritability, and difficulty concentrating. You might also have feelings of being on guard, like you're constantly watching over your shoulder, and being easily startled.

3. Unhelpful mood and cognitions: as a result of the traumatic event, you might experience a lot of shame and guilt and blame yourself or others for what has happened. You might report feeling sad or hopeless, becoming less engaged in life and feeling cut-off from the rest of the world. It is also possible for you to have trouble remembering key aspects of what happened.

4. Avoidance: because memories of the trauma are so hard to bear, there's a tendency to push away any thoughts, places, activities, people, facts or associations related to the trauma. You might avoid media content that reminds you of the event. You might actively try to avoid thinking about the trauma or feeling your feelings about what happened. Sometimes, avoidance strategies include the use of drugs and alcohol, staying busy, being promiscuous, or making other choices that provide temporal relief.

Diagnosis of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

While most traumatic symptoms surface within three months of the event, sometimes they remain dormant for a long time. It is normal to experience these stress reactions following a traumatic event and for some of us, these symptoms naturally dissipate. For others, these symptoms linger for at least a month and can affect home, work and social life. If that's you, it is important to meet with a mental health professional to determine whether you meet criteria for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Hope for trauma survivors

The initial symptoms I experienced following the death of my aunt were a normal trauma response. While I recovered naturally, I know that many people who have experienced trauma have not, and I want to help. If that's you, there is hope. PTSD is treatable. Trauma treatment is hard work but the results are evident and sustained overtime. In my next posts, I'll talk about the different ways of treating PTSD: Cognitive Behavioral approaches and mind-body integration.

In the meantime, let me know if you need help.

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Ada Pang, MS, LMFT is the proud owner of People Bloom Counseling, a Redmond counseling practice in WA. She helps distressed couples and breast cancer patients. She has also seen a lot of improvement in her work with trauma clients. Since that initial massage, she has had many more massages. She realizes that when she is stressed and tensed, it feels good to be touched and cared for. She hopes you'll also find ways to care for you.

Holding Orlando in my Body

Shortly after writing and beginning to process the two tragedies in Orlando, a 3rd happen. I cannot imagine what it's like to have been there, to be the family, to be witness to such loss, to hope that it wasn't the case, to wish it away every time I think about it.

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There is a tendency for me to enter into the experience of another and to carry this tension, this stress in my body. For days, I went around, trying to keep going, ignoring the signs that it's not possible. My neck and shoulders were sensitive to touch; I couldn't carry my usual backpack without having to put it down at every opportunity. My body was telling me I wasn't well. I didn't want to listen, until I could no longer ignore it.

I have a 4-day conference to attend and my backpack will be my constant companion. I finally made time for some mindful yoga, of slowing down to care for my body, to pay attention to it and let it know it is important. My body responded in kind.

I don't mean to undermine the magnitude of all that have happened in Orlando by talking about yoga as a solution. I do invite you to care for you, to listen to what you might need. Given all this, what would be helpful right now? What would still keep you close to the things and people that matter to you?

My body is crying writing this and it begs for another slowing down, another stretch. Just know that I'm here if you need anything.

Orlando Tragedies – How do I Respond? How can you Respond?

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I love The Voice and I have an off and on crush on the winner of season 6, Josh Kaufman. As a result of listening to his music, I would come across the amazing voice of Christina Grimmie, who came in 3rd that season. I share the shock and grief of many fans around the world when I learned about her death over the weekend. I couldn't wrap my head around this reality and would go through moments in my day, thinking that it's surreal. Such a beautiful life, taken from us.

Before grief even had time to sink in, I, along with the rest of the world, experienced more losses in the worst mass shooting in US history. These 49 victims have names, faces, and ties to loved ones. They had aspirations, were wonderful students, and held jobs that served the communities in many ways. My heart is broken and my body is heavy. Those injured are still grappling with their own mortality.

How do I respond to NOT one, but two Orlando tragedies?

I can tell you I want to hide.

I want to withdraw from others.

I'm in shock and disbelief.

I feel cynical about the state of our world.

I want to give up.

I think the world is unsafe.

I feel like a news junkie, which is very unlike me.

I want to protect my loved ones.

I think about the last time I've lost a loved one and how difficult that was.

Those were my knee-jerk reactions. I let myself stay there for two days and tonight, I got online to write this post. I talked about it with my hairstylist, my sister, my parents. I gave my husband a long hug when he came home from work and I'm keeping abreast with what's going on without over-indulging.

What about you?

I want you, the reader, to know that your thoughts, feelings, urges to withdraw, desire to connect are very real. I'm with you. I also want you to know that prolonged viewing of these traumatic media coverage will lead to more stress reactions, as shown by UC Irvine researchers when studying media exposure to the Boston Marathon bombings.

Please, limit your media exposure to these Orlando tragedies. Know enough to know what has happened, but don't follow every post and definitely not the playing and replaying of related videos and audios. Turn off the TV, the radio, the computer, the phone. Connect on social media around your grief, but meet face-to-face. Go to a vigil; host your own mini one. Take a break from talking about these events and just be with the other. We are not meant to go through such atrocities alone.

And, let me know if you need help processing all this or if it's awakening past trauma. I'm still here.