It has been over a month since our Gov. Jay Inslee issued a “stay-at-home” order” order in WA. Usually, a month goes by and we don’t even notice. But, the quote circulating around social media is funny because it’s true: it really does feel like there are five years in April. Ok maybe not five years, but it does feel like we’re on the 12th week of April at my house!
Just when you think you have transitioned, think again
Now that we’ve had six weeks of practice (or, 5 years depending on how you experience time), we should have it down by now, right?! After all, we just need to carve out a space to work from home, make a schedule of things to do with the kids, meal prep for the whole week, cook endlessly, remember to fit in workouts because that’s what healthy people do, and then repeat. No big deal.
Just writing all that makes me want to crawl back into bed.
Whether you’re an essential worker who’s exhausted from your shifts, someone working from home or recently unemployed, or a parent who never signed up to homeschool your kids, it has been one adjustment after another. With the constant transition of new protocols at work, no school during spring break to now five assignments a day, it can be easy to forget what self-care looks like for you. Before the pandemic, you used to know how to do this, but now it takes so much more.
Self-care according to popular culture
Most people think about self-care as eating well, sleeping well, regular exercise, meditation, etc. It is all that and then some. Taking care of your basic needs is only one aspect of taking care of yourself. While doing the basics can be stabilizing during a health crisis; you might find yourself needing more with the passing of time. While you might not feel like you have the bandwidth to do more, engaging in these activities can actually strengthen your bandwidth.
Do productive work
Statewide, nearly half a million people are unemployed from the coronavirus. Meanwhile, people on the frontlines might feel like they’ve worked multiple shifts in one. In either case, we’d need to redefine work. If you went from having a regular work schedule to now being out of work and stuck at home, productive work is no longer limited to paid work. Instead, it can mean navigating the unemployment website, looking for a job, scheduling out your week with activities that are a little bit challenging, but not overly so, and actually doing them. If you’re a frontline worker and you often leave work feeling like there’s more work to be done, it’s a different strategy for you as well.
If you’re unemployed
Self-mastery is a fancy term that speaks to gaining a sense of mastery over your life by doing things that help you feel more confident and in control. This is especially crucial during a time when you did not choose your circumstances, and things are very shitty right now. Self-mastery involves doing tasks that require some effort, but you’ll feel good about yourself when you’ve done them. Here are some additional examples of productive work during our shelter-in-place:
Take care of your personal hygiene even if you have nowhere to go
Pick up and sort through mail
Do laundry
Clean up around the house
Take care of people in your home
When you don’t have income coming in, it can be tempting to stop all forms of work. But, when you engage in activities that you know need to get done, it can help you feel a sense of accomplishment, that today counted for something. It’s not meant to be life changing; but it can help move the needle forward in the slightest ways.
If you’re a frontline worker
If you’re not asked to do more during each shift, you might be “strongly urged” to pick up additional shifts. With needs that don’t seem to be letting up, it’s hard to feel like you’ve done enough after a day’s work. And no matter what you did, there were things outside of your control. Perhaps a patient died during your shift, you came back to a warehouse full of next day deliveries, you could’ve been even more thorough with disinfecting that near empty office… Did you make a dent today?
You did.
You did the best that you could for the day. Unless you’re a robot, your best fluctuates each day. With the current state of affairs, it’s hard to be firing on all cylinders, day after day. So productive work is more about having done your best and then coming back the next day and being okay with your best then too.
It can also help for productive work for frontline workers to include non-paid work. Having a small project where you get to see the beginning, middle and end could help you feel like you were able to tie a bow on something. Here are some examples:
Putter around in the yard and plant something
Change out that burned out bulb
Cook your favorite comfort food recipe
Clean out your garage (Yes, this can be a big ask. Even just a corner of it is enough)
Tackle a jigsaw puzzle that is a bit difficult for you
Engaging in these or other activities can remind you there are ways to feel accomplished outside of work. And, work is not all that there is.
Take care of basic needs
So, what are our basic needs? It’s actually a pretty long list:
Rest the brain with sleep
Drink water
Stay hygienic
Eat food that fuels the body
Empty our bladder and bowel
Feel safe in our environment
Have a shelter over our head
Wear comfortable clothing
While none of the above are rocket science, we do put our bodies through a lot and expect it to bounce back. With the stress of life, we may sometimes forgo some basic needs without recognizing it. And yet, it is especially during these trying times that we need to pay close attention to our basic needs. Because, when was the time you did the following:
Stayed up too late or stayed in bed for too long?
Felt dehydrated?
Fished clothing out of the dirty laundry basket?
Ate what you knew would make your body feel bad, ate too much or skipped meals?
Held your pee or your poop when you needed to go?
Ignored your body’s signals when you felt either too cold or too warm?
Stayed in the same posture for way too long?
When we’re not in a pandemic, we may go through moments where we ate out a lot, got little sleep, survived on energy drinks and (hopefully) recovered. When things are going awry, taking care of our basic needs is a buffer against the constant stress and illness. It doesn’t mean you have to do everything perfectly, but being mindful of the elements that are missing and being intentional about ways to bring them back would be helpful.
Make time to play
It’s not enough to do productive work and take care of your basic needs; you also need to find time to play. If you equate cleaning with play and find it exciting to meal prep many times over, these activities help, to a certain extent. You also need to laugh, to have fun, to allow room for creative endeavors.
When there’s a shortage of time and money, here are possible solutions:
Show up for a scheduled online board game
Work on an art project
Go for a bike ride with your kids
Take a walk and notice the blooming flowers and young leaves
Try a new recipe
Play your guitar, piano, cello, something
Try an online class that you’ve been meaning to take in person
Do kids yoga as a family, even when you don’t have kids
Watch this short video about how a music teacher is coping with teaching online:
